Tag Archives | Church

Big Church

By jeff on September 12, 2016 in Comics

Nim: I visited my uncle's church this weekend.

Nim: It's the biggest church I've ever seen.

Con: How big is it?

Nim: It's so big that the baptistry includes a waterslide and four-star hotel.

Ice Cream Social

By jeff on August 25, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Nim: Our church had an big ice cream social last night.

Abby: Didn't that mess up your diet?

Nim: Nope, I took some all-natural, no-sugar, no-fat, hi-fiber, non-dairy frozen dessert food.
Abby: What flavor?

Nim: The said "Banana Split Blast," but it tasted more like "feet blast."

Church Newsletter

By jeff on August 16, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Nim: I've started writing for the church newsletter.
Con: That's great!

Nim: Yeah, and I'm not going to just write fluff-pieces either. I'm going to be a hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners, investigative journalist.

Nim: I'm going to use the time-honored tools of baseless accusations, innuendo and fear to whip my readers into a fury! Now I just need a juicy subject for my first Pulitzer Prize-winning story!

Con: I don't know if...
Nim: I've got it! Wednesday Night Suppers: What Are You REALLY Eating?!!!

No Calories

By jeff on July 21, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Con: I hear you told Nim food has no calories if eaten in church.
Amos: That's right!

Con: No, that's wrong. Food always has calories.
Amos: Really? Oh, well. No harm, no foul.

Con: Then I guess you haven't seen him?
Amos: Seen who?

Nim: Hi guys, what's shaking?

Church Dinner

By jeff on July 20, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Amos: I can't wait for the church dinner this week!

Amos: I'm going to have 2 hamburgers, a giant plate of fries, some of those big pickles, a couple of chocolate milks and two...no...three desserts!

Nim: Hon on, Amos...I thought you were on a diet. That's a lot of calories.

Amos: I am. But food you eat in church doesn't have any calories.
Nim: Hot dog!

Baptism

By jeff on June 6, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Amos: My church had six baptisms this past Sunday.

Con: That's awesome! You know, every time my church goes through one of our rituals, I can actually feel my relationship with God grow. It strengthens my faith and helps me to become an active part of the "Body of Christ."

Con: How did the baptisms make you feel, Amos?

Amos: Hungry! We were 30 minutes late getting out of church!

Church Task Force

By jeff on May 12, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Con: How goes the Committee on Committees.
Abby: They've put me on a new task force.

Con: What's the new task force charged with doing?

Abby: We have to create a small group council that will make recommendations to my task force on how to better structure our committees, which I will formally present to the Committee on Committees.

Con: That makes my brain hurt.
Abby: Tell me about it.

Church Committees

By jeff on May 11, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Abby: I think my church needs streamlining.

Abby: We even formed a Committee on Committees.

Jerry: Where do they meet?

Abby: Nowhere yet. They've just formed a committee to figure that out.

Very Traditional Church

By jeff on May 10, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Abby: My Uncle Casey's church is very traditional.

Con: How traditional is it?

Abby: The last time anyone tried to change a lightbulb...

Abby:...the congregation cried, "Change?! You want to CHANGE something?!!!"

It’s Already May

By jeff on May 2, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Con: I can't believe it's already May!
Amos: I know!

Con: Is your church doing anything special this month?

Amos: May.

Amos: May not.

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