Tag Archives | food

Food In Church Has No Calories?

By jeff on April 18, 2024 in Comics

1 Peter 1:13

Amos: I can't wait for the church dinner this week! I'm going to have 2 hamburgers, a giant plate of fries, some of those big pickles, a couple of chocolate milks and two...no...three desserts!
Nim: Hold on, Amos...I thought you were on a diet. That's a lot of calories.
Amos: I am. But food you eat in church doesn't have any calories.
Nim: Hot dog!

If only that were true.

Leviticus 23:22 – Alien

By jeff on September 14, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Nim: Con, are we supposed to be nice to everyone?

Con: Yep. In Leviticus 23, God tells landowners not to reap to the edges of their fields. They should leave that for the poor and alien.

Nim: ALIENS!!!???

Con: Not that kind of...
Nim: I wonder if my tin-foil hat still fits.

Ice Cream Social

By jeff on August 25, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Nim: Our church had an big ice cream social last night.

Abby: Didn't that mess up your diet?

Nim: Nope, I took some all-natural, no-sugar, no-fat, hi-fiber, non-dairy frozen dessert food.
Abby: What flavor?

Nim: The said "Banana Split Blast," but it tasted more like "feet blast."

Diet Is Working

By jeff on July 27, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Con: Have you been going to the diet classes at church?
Nim: Yep, for about a week.

Con: Well, I can tell it's working.
Nim: REALLY??!!!

Nim: I must look fantastic!!! I knew the diet was working, but I had no idea you'd see such a big difference in so short a time. Look at you, you can't keep your eyes off me! I must really be fabulous!

Con: A little compliment goes a long way with Nim.
Nim: Who's got a camera? Someon needs to get a picture of me...quick!

Is Being Overweight A Sin?

By jeff on July 26, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Nim: Why am I on this stupid diet? It's not like it's a sin or anything to be fat!

Abby: No, it's not a sin, but it might show ingratitude to God for his sacred gift of life.

Abby: Plus, our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit and should be kept as pure as possible.

Nim: Don't argue with me today, fuzzball! I may be small, but I'm hungry!

Starting A Diet

By jeff on July 22, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Abby: Looks like you have to diet, Nim.
Nim: Way ahead of you. I already started.

Abby: Really? That's great! What have you given up?

Nim: Tons of things! Broccoli...zucchini...cabbage...beets...

Abby: But you don't eat any of those...
Nim: I can't wait for the pounds to start melting away!

No Calories

By jeff on July 21, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Con: I hear you told Nim food has no calories if eaten in church.
Amos: That's right!

Con: No, that's wrong. Food always has calories.
Amos: Really? Oh, well. No harm, no foul.

Con: Then I guess you haven't seen him?
Amos: Seen who?

Nim: Hi guys, what's shaking?

Church Dinner

By jeff on July 20, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Amos: I can't wait for the church dinner this week!

Amos: I'm going to have 2 hamburgers, a giant plate of fries, some of those big pickles, a couple of chocolate milks and two...no...three desserts!

Nim: Hon on, Amos...I thought you were on a diet. That's a lot of calories.

Amos: I am. But food you eat in church doesn't have any calories.
Nim: Hot dog!

I Hate Broccoli

By jeff on April 2, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Nim: Why did God make all the healthy food taste so bad?

Abby: What are you talking about? Broccoli is good for you AND it's delicious!

Nim: Broccoli?! BLEEECCCCHHHH!!!

Abby: Be careful. Your face might freeze like that.
Nim: Make me eat broccoli and it probably will.

Matthew 7:1 – Be Careful Not To Judge

By jeff on February 20, 2016 in Comics

↓ Transcript

Abby: Dear Diary-To-God...

Abby: I took a butter cream cake to the church bake sale. Everyone said it was so rich and delicious that I must have used real butter. But when I told them I'd used diet margarine, they were all stunned.

Abby: So I guess it's true what they say...

Abby: You can't judge a cook by its butter.