Amos: I can't wait for the church dinner this week! I'm going to have 2 hamburgers, a giant plate of fries, some of those big pickles, a couple of chocolate milks and two...no...three desserts!
Nim: Hold on, Amos...I thought you were on a diet. That's a lot of calories.
Amos: I am. But food you eat in church doesn't have any calories.
Nim: Hot dog!

If only that were true.